Monthly Archives: June 2012

June 28, 2012

The importance of writing with joy

By Ellen Gregory

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m going with my writing of late. Thinking, not doing. There have been no new words on my WIP for over three weeks now. It was a conscious decision to stop. I wasn’t happy with anything coming out, had been writing every scene twice, and finally reached the conclusion that something was wrong.

When I realised what it was I despaired a bit, and that was when I decided maybe I should just give the whole thing up to take a break.

Holly Lisle‘s mantra is “Write with joy” and every time I read that, something deep inside me kindles. Yes! Although I am a rather slow and methodical writer, I do love those moments when the words flow at a steady rate and combine to achieve — or perhaps even exceed — my original vision.

And those marvellous moments when a kernel of something new and unplanned manifests and the unlooked-for idea is good. At such times, writing is a joyous process, and my dream and ambition are huge.

But, before I fool myself into believing that such ideal conditions are mandatory for writing, I must remind myself that writers write, no matter how little they feel like it, and experts will tell me it’s rare that professional writers can tell, later, what their state of mind was when they wrote something.

“Write with joy” must have a broader meaning then — excitement about your project, love for your characters, passion for the story you’re trying to tell. Even if you’re having an off day, those things remain the foundations of your WIP and will ensure the joy shines through.

It was when I realised the joy of my current WIP had left me that I decided to take a break.

Being on hiatus has given me time to ponder. Maybe I should write a short story and attempt publication? A small taste of success in that field could rekindle the self-confidence if nothing else. Or maybe I should stop thinking about writing a middle-grade story for my nieces and nephews to enjoy and actually do it.  Why not? What’s stopping me?

Or maybe I should just rediscover the love for my current WIP — spend the time isolating what it was that inspired and excited me in the first place, work on the characters (where the main problem lies I think), and push gently ahead.

A couple of blog posts that present interesting — and fabulous — perspectives on the creativity process came to my attention today. One is Writers going boldly, by James Scott Bell, which presents the late Ray Bradbury’s example of writing with joy by allowing himself the freedom of simply following his imagination every day.

The second is Playmore Fearless, by Erik Wahl, which talks about the unpredictability of the creative process, about how art needs time and space to just ‘be’, with reference to Van Gogh’s Irises, which was only ever intended to be a study.

Both these posts have reminded me that I need to give my own creative process some time and space, to take the pressure off myself. Instead of writing to meet a whole lot of worthy criteria, I need to have fun.

Dammit, I’m gonna get me some FUN!

What about you? Anyone else  in need of a little more fun in their process?

9 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Process, Reflection, The WIP

June 25, 2012

D&D chronicles: in which goblins smash us

By Ellen Gregory

Several weeks ago I posted about my first Dungeon and Dragons experience and pledged to chronicle my adventures. Huzzah, we just had session number two!

Before I get into the adventure, I have to mention two things:

1. The dice are so pretty! – I took myself off to a gaming shop on Saturday, intending to buy a set of polyhedral D&D dice. I always intended to buy pretty ones, preferably purple, but when they showed me the box of loose dice (left) I lost my head somewhat. Instead of 10 mins in and out, I scrabbled through boxes of dice for over an hour and a half. I found several I couldn’t resist, although none as a complete set. In the end I came away with 4 different D20s, and a random assortment of others. Means I can use whichever one takes my fancy… and melt those that don’t perform (hehe).

[For the uninitiated, you use dice with different numbers of sides for different purposes in D&D. As far as I can make out, in D&D version 3.5, which is what we're playing, you use the D20 (20 sides) most often to determine the outcome of decisions. The higher you roll, the higher the likelihood of a successful or useful outcome. The other dice are used occasionally -- for instance, the D6 (a normal cubic die) or D8 (looks like two pyramids stuck together) is used to determine how much damage you might do to your opponent IF you first roll high enough with the D20 to hit them!]

2. We fudged my character stats — Because this was a friendly game (and, as it turns out, something of a dry run) we swapped my bard’s strength and wisdom stats, meaning my strength went to 13 instead of 4. This meant I could have armour and a sword!

OK, so we resumed our adventure where we left off, having just successfully taken a goblin-infested fort. Our mission was to liberate the goblin-infested mine, a couple of hours up the river, but two of our party were seriously injured. Our choices seemed to be a) retreat back to the town to seek healing, b) hang out in the fort, defend it if necessary, while we healed up…

Turns out what we should have done was retreat. But being a D&D novice bard newly armed with a sword, I felt this would be going backwards. Moreover, the town was a six-hour trek away. Much to the disgust of our rogue, I persuaded everyone to sit tight.

We arranged a watch, but after dark the goblins crept up on us. (I think we rolled a crap ‘spot’ check.) A skirmish ensued, I got struck by two arrows in swift succession, losing me 8 of my 7 hit points in about 5 minutes. (The bard hits the deck unconscious.)

We somehow won that battle and the druid healed me, but it should have been a warning… Again we contemplated going back to recuperate away from the goblins; again we kept going…

Up the river we crept until we reached the mine. The only means of crossing the river was a two-person coracle. Arrows rained down as the druid ferried us across one by one — I think I got hit again, but I wanted to use my sword, dammit! We blindly fired a few futile arrows into the maw of the mine, then a spray of oil. The goblins retreated and we were all across the river. We’d made it to the mine. Huzzah!

Our victory was short-lived. Within another ten minutes we’d backed the goblins into a dark corner… and then they smashed us. I did get to use the cool ‘dancing lights’ ghost person bard spell before I got smacked unconscious – then healed for the second time that day – and then taken down again by friendly fire (another bad roll by my roguish team-mate).

So I’m lying there in a pool of my own blood, the goblins are trampling me, taking out my team mates, until we’re all down. The goblins beat their warty chests in triumph. The game master grins and pours another bourbon.

And that, apparently, is what you call a TPK — Total Party Knockout Kill [edited 20/07/12 -- I stand corrected]. We laughed and laughed and laughed.

And then rolled up a new set of characters ready for the next game. I’m gonna be a ranger next…

So — anyone got any TPK experiences to share?

8 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in D&D Chronicles

June 20, 2012

Diary of a Devilcat: Telling the vet what’s what

By Ellen Gregory

Picture this: me, face down in my carry case… a fluffy rug on top of me… Ellen holding me down by the shoulders… the vet nurse holding down my hind legs under a second towel… the vet peels back a corner of the rug and jabs not one, but TWO separate needles into my back. No, I was not happy.

Wind the clock back half an hour or so. Ellen comes home, feeds me as usual, but then drags down the carry case. Instantly I’m on alert, even when it’s just sitting there in the middle of the floor and she’s ignoring it, but I must have had a brain fade, because next thing I know she’s shoving me into it and I start mewling pitiously. (Normally I hide under the bed.)

Fortunately, the vet’s really close, so the car journey was a mere blip in the entire ordeal, but then we arrived in the vet waiting room and that’s where the critters were. There were two of them. Not very big, but the moment they saw me they wouldn’t leave me alone. They stared at me. And talked to me. One even attempted to stick a finger inside my carrier case.

Hunched at the back of my carrier I growled and hissed at them, but this seemed only to draw them in closer.

I was relieved to be called in to see the vet. But it turned out to be some man I didn’t know, instead of my usual vets, Dr Caroline or Dr Jenny. I guess my reputation must have preceded me, because he seemed a bit tentative, which made me grrr.

But then he proceeded to clean my ears! I never heard of such a thing… He stuck a swab into my ear and swirled it about and and I heard him ask Ellen if she’d be happy to repeat the process every two weeks. (I don’t think she was too impressed with the prospect.)

Needless to say I wasn’t too impressed either. I hate going to the vet at the best of times, but after being traumatised by midgets and havings things stuck in my ears, I’d had enough. And I let rip. Teeth. Claws. Lots of both. And growling.

And that is how I ended up crammed under two blankets, held down by two bystanders, while the vet gave me my jabs.

2 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in Diary of a Devilcat

June 17, 2012

Donning my resolved-and-determined hat (at Continuum)

By Ellen Gregory

Last weekend I attended the Continuum 8 convention, which this year was the Australian national science fiction (and fantasy and horror) convention, held in Melbourne. It’s an event where writers and fans of the speculative fiction genre come together and pow-wow. We’re not a large community, so our natcon is always a fabulous opportunity to catch up with friends, talk shop and envelop ourselves in inspiration.

I’ve been attending Continuum just about every year since it began, and always have a fabulous time. I love listening to other writers talk about their process, about trends and industry issues, about their general publication experiences. It’s essentially a weekend spent hanging out with ‘my kind of people’, and this year’s con was no different. Aside from listening to a couple of panels here and there, I spent most of my time in the hotel/con bar and/or in cafes and restaurants in nearby Lygon Street.

But the more cons I attend, the more people I know. And this means more writers… writers with published stories, collections, novels. Or contracts for novels. While it still gives me rather a thrill to hang out with all these accomplished authors, it does also leave me feeling a little inadequate. OK, a lot inadequate. It’s hard to accept that I’m still grafting my way up the learning curve… that I’m not there yet…

In fact, last week (before Continuum) I decided (again) that I was giving it all up, that I’ve been fooling myself that I can do this, that I think I’ll just sit back and read all the glorious books that other people write and stop stop stop all this fruitless effort. By the time the con rolled around, I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to go at all, because I would just be confronted with my own failure.

Needless to say, I turned up, but I was in rather a weird place. It seemed almost a relief to announce during casual conversation, when asked about my progress, that “This week, I’m giving it all up”… only to have them answer, one after the other, “Oh, you’re having one of those weeks.”

Yes, I had indeed been having one of those weeks.

I haven’t completely resurrected my “I can do this” state of mind, but I do feel better after talking to people during the convention. Everyone understood where I was at and no-one judged — no matter where they are in their careers right now, they’ve all been at the point of deepest doubt, they’ve all struggled with some mountain or other.

And that’s the best thing about attending conventions — the sense of community. The knowledge that these are my people.

Happily, more often than not during the weekend I found myself donning my resolved-and-determined hat: all that’s needed is for me to pull my finger out and keep going. Just keep going. One day, perhaps one day in the not too distant future, I want to attend a convention with my own sense of accomplishment — whether that’s a completed novel manuscript, a published short story — or something better.

 

23 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Conventions, workshops & seminars, Reflection, SF Community

June 4, 2012

Word of the day: Cunctator

By Ellen Gregory

Cunctator

noun: One who hesitates; a procrastinator or delayer

When I saw this word hit my inbox (from A.Word.A.Day) last week, I knew I had to share it — even if only as a reminder to myself that I must not embody its meaning.

This evening, however, I fear I deserve it as a descriptor.

The more friends you make on social media, the more time it takes to catch up on all their adventures… Today’s post from Rachelle Gardner, My love/hate relationship with social media, sums up my state of mind exactly. I feel as though I could almost have written this…!

… Because social media (Facebook and a few blogs, to be precise) is exactly what has distracted me this evening, and suddenly it’s 11pm and I don’t feel in the least like opening my WIP, because I’m tired and annoyed with myself; but of course I should open it and write something, because something is better than nothing — right?

(I should point out that it was considerably earlier than 11pm when I first conceived the notion of writing this post, so this in itself is evidence of my being a cunctator.)

Trying to figure out what to prioritise is hard. I have achieved my 10,000 steps today — huzzah! — but that seems like a shallow victory in the face of my being a cunctator. (I dunno, the word sits a little awkwardly on the page, don’t you think? Am I using it correctly?)

And so must I remember my own self pep-talk from last week – tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Tomorrow I will not be a cunctator! Rah!

6 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Reflection, Words

June 2, 2012

10K a day

By Ellen Gregory

Sir Walkalot – team mascot

The challenge is 10K a day — but for once it’s not words that are the target, but steps. I’m currently participating in the Global Corporate Challenge as part of a work initiative. It aims to get slothful desk workers out of their chairs and moving  towards improved health and productivity.

The challenge has been going for about a week and half now, and it’s been quite an eye-opener. I acknowledge my habits are largely sedentary, but in between sitting at a computer all day for both work and pleasure, I’ve always walked a fair bit. I considered 10,000 steps a day achievable enough, and thought to set an example for my team-mates.

Hmm. Turns out I completely overestimated my standard level of activity.

On a standard weekday at home and work without any conscious exercise, it seems I do about 2000 steps. That’s all. Throw in a half-hour walk in the morning before work, and that gets me another 4000 steps. I can squeeze out another 2000 steps at lunchtime… if I have time.

Bottom line: getting to 10,000 steps requires at least an hour’s dedicated walking (or some other form of equivalent exercise) every day.

Needless to say, I’ve been floundering. My average number of steps for the past nine days or so is about 8,500 — which is about 3,000 less than my team average. (The team — Sir Walkalot – I was going to lead to glory… we’re sitting in the middle of the pack.) I’m determined to get my average over 10,000 for the 16-week duration of this challenge — by which time regular exercise should be a habit, apparently.

I guess it’s a good thing I’ve bought myself a new crosstraining machine. I’d been pondering the merits of a treadmill for a while, but I don’t really have the space for one. My new elliptical crosstrainer is more compact, plus more portable, should I need to wheel it out of the way.

To my irritation, it arrived in time for the challenge to commence, but with a few parts missing so I’ve had to wait over a week to be able to use it. All week (as I gazed forlornly at my dismal scores plastered all over the whiteboard in my office) I’ve been telling myself next week will be better… next week, when my crosstrainer is in action… no excuse now!

Finally, the parts have arrived and it’s all put together. I lasted about 10 minutes, before my quads gave out. Those things are tough! I’ve never really used one before, so I daresay it will take a little while to build up. Meanwhile, I’d better keep scheduling in those extra walks!

Many readers of this post could be wondering by now how many steps you do in a day — I challenge you to wear a pedometer and find out. You might be surprised. How much do you think regular exercise impacts productivity?

 

13 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Reflection

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