Says the devilcat:
Here’s the thing. Normally I get just two meals a day. Meager meals. One in the morning and one in the evening.
And always the same food — some expensive dry concoction to stop me from getting urinary tract infections. It’s really all rather dull.
In the morning, I have to sit on Ellen’s pillow and jab her scalp or cheek with my claws until she wakes up. (Have you seen the famous Simon’s Cat clip?) She can never withstand this treatment for very long, and will invariably stagger out of bed and scoop out my food using a measuring spoon.
Did you register that? A measuring spoon. She measures out my food. Every day.
It’s the same deal when she gets home from work. Straight for the measuring scoop… My daily allocation is a pathetic 1/2 cup of dry food every day. (Yeah, OK, I know it’s a nutritionally balanced and calory rich vet food — whatever.)
Now, I know I’m not as svelte as I could be. In fact, the vet suggested Ellen cut down my food even further in an attempt to slim down. But if you think I’m going to stand for having my already tiny meals scaled down even further…
Well, I’m not.
I’m sooo not doing that, I’ve figured out (while Ellen is not working) how to con her into feeding me extra!
It’s actually ridiculously easy. All I need to do is ask.
Yep. All I need to do is jump up onto her desk and get in her face while she’s trying to work, and I get food. Every day she’s home I get an extra scoop. Some days, if I’m persistent and start early enough, I even get two extra scoops.
She grumbles and tells me I’m going to get fat, but she keeps on feeding me because at least it gets me out of her face. (Cold nose on her cheeks… furry rump on her mouse cord… teeth marks on her wrist… )
It’s too too simple. Now I’ve fooled her into thinking three scoops every afternoon/evening is normal, whereas before it used to be two. She’s even adjusted the settings on my automatic feeder, used when she goes away.
I’d call that a victory. Devilcat 1… Ellen 0…
Now, what rule shall I overturn next?